....Cause the times, they are a' changing...

There has been so much going on that I don't even know where to begin.

I come to you today whilst in a leg brace, cane in hand, with a tooth falling out of my mouth, and a non-stop rendition of "Humpty Dumpty" playing softly in the background, on repeat, as Boxer keeps hitting the button for it on her electronic book.

I also come to from beneath a pile of boxes and bags and all kinds of crap because...get ready...I'm serious...brace yourself...are you ready? Can you handle the reason??? Ok, I won't keep you hanging.....because we are FINALLY MOVING.

Yes, the long-awaiting move from out of the shack shall commence on Monday! It's a fuckin' miracle!

Since I last blogged, many things have happened. Let me try my best to sum it all up as best as I can, since having "Humpty Dumpty" playing in my ear tends to distract me from writing properly..

...All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldn't put Humpty together again....

In this case, I am Humpty, and the horses and men are doctors and nature! After bitching and moaning for months on end about my knee pain, I was finally able to do a little bit of physical therapy..however, it wasn't doing jack shit for me, since I could only go once a week for an hour or so. Plus, my knee had gotten so swollen I wasn't able to bend it AT.ALL. And it HURT. BAD. I had to reach back into my past and channel my inner gymnast in order to get on the floor with Boxer, or pick her up for that matter. I should have won a gold medal for these acrobatics. So I begged my dad to watch Boxer so I could go back to the orthopedic guy. He told me at this point I needed a MRI in order to determine what was REALLY going on. Then, I had the pleasure of getting my knee drained. The joy I felt in my heart when I saw that large needle headed towards my poor, swollen, pain-riddled knee is indescribable! After draining about 180 cc's of fluid, he patched me up & sent me on my way. I made an appointment for my MRI and then off to the dentist I went! He was as sadistic as he normally is while drilling some more teeth, {he's not really sadistic, I just think that dental work is torture}, and then told me that the last one was so fucked up, I had no choice but to get it pulled. Fabulous. So, I left there with an x-ray of my destroyed tooth, and a phone number to an oral surgeon {along with a phone number to a Periodontist to get my gum surgery}. Fast forward to MRI day, when I got to sit around in a hospital gown freezing my ass off for 2 hours before getting shoved inside a tube with a strap on my hurting knees {which had re-filled with fluid already}. Ring Ring went the phone from the Orthopedic dude, who informed me that not only do I have fluid in my left knee, but I also have a bruised kneecap, Femur, Tibia, and a fractured fibula. The fracture looks to be anywhere from 6-8 months old. The bone is filled with fluid. MRI also shows that cartilage had broken off from somewhere, and was taking a swim in my kneecap. On the right knee I have a "floating kneecap". Does the fun ever end for me? Certainly not! The remedy to all this was either complete bed rest for 2 weeks or possible surgery. Both of these remedies are NOT an option right now {or possibly EVER}. So, he fitted me with a full leg brace, handed me a cane, told me to stay off my feet as much as possible, and to go back to him in 2 weeks. From there, we will determine if surgery is DIRELY necessary.

Nice to know that I have been walking around on a fractured and bruised leg with rotted teeth for months on end. I feel like the fucking bionic woman or some shit like that. And now I look like her with this contraption on my leg. Big props to all of those who helped me out when I said I needed help {sarcasm is oozing off your screen so fast that you may need a paddle to get out of your home...}

So, although moving is fantastic, it is quite the bitch to do when you can't move one leg at all, can barely move the other, and are using a cane {although the cane may come in handy if I need a weapon to beat SB on the head with so he moves around quickly, instead of staring at the TV for updates and sports-talk about the JETS game tomorrow}

Moving onto a completely different subject, I have contemplated making this blog private. It is something I really do NOT want to do. However, I am sometimes worried about exactly WHO is reading this. {although my initial intent for this blog was for it to be an education on IF for those who wanted/needed it, without giving a damn about what people thought of me}. But now Boxer is involved. And I became quite horrified one day when I was going through entries from last year, and noticed that a crazy-ass stalker had left some VERY disturbing comments which I had NEVER SEEN, as they had been posted right when I gave birth to the twins. The comments stopped abruptly as soon as SB posted about the arrival of the twins. Nevertheless, I am a bit freaked out by this {one of them was someone pretending to be an employee of the hospital I was in, and she wrote that if she "drew the short stick" to have me as her patient for the day, she would ignore me. That comment was written at the exact time that I was in labor, screaming for help in my room while drowning in vomit and being dilated to 7 with breech twins...being ignored by my nurse}. So I wonder if this nutjob from hell still reads my blog. Or how many other nutjobs from hell are out there reading it right now. Creepy if you think about it. So, it's very possible I will go private. However, I do NOT want to lose touch with all of you guys who have been like family to me. Therefore, if I decide to go through with it {and figure out HOW to do it} I will set up an email and post it here so you can tell me who you are, and I can grant you permission to continue viewing.

I know... that was random and totally out of the nowhere. But Humpty Dumpty has now morphed into Jimmy crack corn and my head is now cracking from it.. {btw....WHY in the HELL is Jimmy crack corn considered a children's song? It's about a slave who is happy that the master who beat the crap out of him just got thrown from a horse and died, so he can be free now and crack corn without fear of getting whipped. And how about "Ring around the Rosie"? It's a song about the black plague!!! This are things that amuse and baffle me when I can't fall asleep...}

As for Boxer girl, she has made HUGE HUGE HUGE improvements within the last few weeks!!!

1) She is now crawling!! After crawling backwards and spinning in circles for what seemed an eternity, she just decided to take the hell off one day. And she hasn't looked back since. She is all over the shack, getting faster and faster as the days go by. Juniper is not too pleased with this latest milestone, and neither are my knees, but my heart is absolutely soaring!

2) She says MAMA. Yup, she does. First word. How awesome is that? On New Years day, I was changing her, and she just starting saying "mamamamamama". Of course I broke down into tears like a dork. She has continued to say MAMA, and now says it both for no reason {while lying in her crib, or getting a bath, etc} and also when she sees me!!! Again, my heart soared!

3) She is high-kneeling and hanging onto the top of her crib/toys, etc, and is about 2 seconds away from pulling herself up completely. Holy crap!!

4) While I help her to stand in the crib, she "cruises" in there, from side to side..I allow her to do this because there is nowhere for her to cruise in the shack. Again, holy crap!!!!

5) She has begun to eat some puffs. She is able to pick it up with her fingers and put it in her mouth. She also likes to chew on teething biscuits. But this is the extent of her table food as she still has NO TEETH AT ALL...

It's been a busy few weeks for my little Boxer. Of course, along with the fun stuff, comes the annoying things. Remember I told you about her never-ending-whining? Well, it's still in full effect, except it is now LOUDER and has variations of whining...sometimes it's just straight growling..other times it's a fake cry, etc, etc...ALL of it ends in her screaming or crying for no apparent reason. She has also dropped her 20 minute power naps she would take here and there, and now she only naps ONCE a day for about 15 minutes. That's it. 15 minutes. This would turn Mother Teresa grey. My mother in-law didn't believe it until she witnessed it. She's also perfected her wicked temper, and is the nosiest little thing I have ever seen in my life, which means that she wants everything she sees and will throw a fit if she doesn't get it. I'm wondering if all of this is "normal" for a 9 month old {adjusted age}, but I'm thinking she may be a "high needs" baby, as my mother in-law put it. But I shan't complain. {too much...oh who the hell am I kidding, some days I want to rip my hair out of my head while drinking a bottle of whiskey and chain smoking. But I digress...}

Boxer also had her very first "professional" pictures taken at Sears. I wanted to do it for her first birthday. I felt it was time to get her out & about, and also to do some "normal" things. Although she was utterly fascinated with the store itself, she was not so impressed with the portrait studio, or taking pictures, or the dress I had her in. But she was a good sport about it and only cried once. However, she didn't give her usual BIG smiles; instead, she gave what I called "Mona Lisa" smiles. They came out lovely!

Emotionally, I have been extremely melancholy as the twins first birthday approaches. I have also felt very torn in my emotions, as I am elated that Boxer is here, and doing so well, and still so sad that Angelo is not with us. What would he have looked like? Would he have the same blue eyes as Boxer, or would they have been brown like mine? Would they have been best friends? What would it be like to have seen them sleeping next to each other while holding hands? The questions that go on in my head are enough to drive me crazy. But I am trying to cope as best as I can.

So, it's outta the shack for this family. And as much as I hate this place, I know I will miss it. My grandma lived here. It's as if an entire era is coming to an end. I have many happy memories within these walls. Hopefully, our new home will be filled with as many happy memories for Boxer to remember when she is older.

Here are some pics:

Boxer on Christmas Day



Last year, day after she was born:



This year, turning one. Unbelievable. A friekan beautiful miracle!



Til next time..