A day in the life of a "less than 1% chance to survive" child...

and her mother with a fractured leg {which has gone untreated, and unRESTED, for half a year now...}

{Remember: This is on a good day. Let's not get into bad mood/teething/I'm going to be just like my mother and bitch all-day-long days. Or, the days when Mommy is having major panic attacks, etc etc}

6:30AM: Rise and shine. Ms Boxer opens her eyes and begins to cry. Mom checks video monitor to make sure all is well before rising on her hurting leg to tend to crying child. Boxer's cries cease as she rolls around crib, making strange noises at various sound levels, and grunts some more as she bashes baby dolls around.

6:45AM: Boxer becomes silent for a bit. Mom closes eyes for a quick cat-nap with her hand ready to reach for the bottle of Motrin.

7:00AM: Boxer begins her fabulous imitation of "The Gorn" from Star Trek. This is the cue for mom to sit up, put on her leg brace, and limp her way over...

7:00AM - 7:30AM. Mom is greeted with a big ol' smile and a bunch of toys being thrown at her from the crib. Mom smiles even though she knows picking up toy shall hurt leg. Boxer cruises around the crib in her sleep sack. She falls several times, which aids in the squashing of the enormous crap that she has in her diaper. Crap leaks onto sack and onto sheet. Mom plucks Boxer from crib, strips her down, and begins the morning wrestling match. Boxer either grabs her poop and smears it on the wall, or literally climbs the wall as mom attempts to clean her up. Mom tries to distract Boxer as she washes her and clothes her. Distraction doesn't work. Boxer has to be put on the floor as the diaper change and dressing war begins. After a tough match, the Boxer is defeated as she is clean and clothed. Boxer goes on a rampage destroying her entire room in 2.5 seconds flat. She attempts to crawl out door. She cruises around the mess she just made, as mom changes the bedding and wraps soiled clothes in a big towel. Boxer continuously cruises over to Mom's leg brace so that she can undo the velcro. Brace slips down to ankle. Mom says no. Boxer throws tantrum. Crying commences. Crying stops. Smiles return. Mom smiles back.

7:30AM - 7:45AM: Mom attempts to carry a wiggly Boxer down the stairs, while balancing the towel filled with crap. Stairs have cracks in them which makes the journey even more treacherous. Brace unsnaps and falls to the bottom of the stairs. Boxer wiggles to follow brace. Crap is beginning to seep out of towel. Cat vomits on the floor. Mom steps in it. Some cat vomit spills into the cracks in the stairs.

7:45AM-8:00AM: Mom sits Boxer in high chair. Boxer screams as she hates the high chair. Mom throws Boxer some cups to play with. Takes brace off. Crap laundry is put in a bin to soak. Cat puke is cleaned. Brace is put back on. Mom prepares breakfast for Boxer.

8:00AM - 9:00AM: The breakfast war begins. Boxer shuns first dish of food that mom has cooked up. Cereal is flung all over the kitchen. Boxer whines. "The Gorn" returns. Boxer points to bottle. Mom gives her the bottle and turns around so she can whip up another type of breakfast. Bottle gets thrown on floor. Mom doesn't cry over spilled milk, but Boxer does. Mom cleans off bottle and returns it to the Boxer. She scrambles an egg. Bottle is back on floor. Cereal is still on floor. Boxer is still not happy. Mom attempts to feed Boxer some eggs. She eats a bit, then tries her hardest to get the bowl in which the eggs are sitting. Whining commences. Anorexic attitude commences. Breakfast battle continues. Bottle gets the shit beat out of it. Eggs fight a losing battle. Cheerios are offered, and promptly thrown on the floor. Mom is defeated. Boxer whines. Mom takes off leg brace and bends on broken knee to clean the mess. Whining continues. Whining now in stereo. Pain shoots through mom's knee. Bottle shoots through the air. Mess is cleaned up. Boxer is cleaned off. Boxer is set free. Smiles and laughs return.

{NOTE: Mondays, Boxer has feeding & speech therapy from 9-10, and then occupational therapy from 10-11. On Tuesday, she has physical therapy from 9-10. Wednesday is social work from 10-11. Thursday is physical therapy from 9-10 & Occupational therapy from 10-11. Friday is clear. Mom is very involved with all therapies; therefore, Motrin is popped to help ease the immense pain in her leg as she scoots around the floor with therapists and Boxer. Breakfast is yet to be consumed by Mom, which is funny, considering Mom continues to be a fat-ass. Due to this variation, we shall pick up at 11:00AM}

11:00AM - 11:15AM: Motrin does a job on mom's empty stomach. Boxer is placed in her play-area which is filled with 7.9 trillion toys. Boxer cannot be bothered with toys or play-area. Whining commences while mom takes care of business.

11:15AM- 11:45AM: Boxer destroys both living room and kitchen. Toys lay askew and pots and pans litter the floor. Cat food and cat water get dumped. Attempt to break into cat-litter area is made. Mom puts a stop to that. Tantrum commences. Mom tries to distract. Distract attempt fails. Mom decides to go get coffee. While grabbing Boxer's coat and shoes, Boxer crawls at warp speed to climb up the steep, slumping, broken, scary steps. Mom chases her and says no. Tantrum commences. Wrestling match# 2 for the day begins. Jacket is put on. Shoes are put on. Boxer tries to walk. She takes a few steps, then falls. Whimpers once or twice, then takes off for cat-litter area again. Mom adjusts leg brace. Mom puts soft brace on other knee which is feeling the brunt of all weight being put on it. Cat-litter theft is averted. Boxer attempts to climb steps again. Mom grabs Boxer, keys, shoes, and limps out the door. Boxer grunts at the sky. She points at some trees. She smiles a bunch. Mom smiles. She names all the things Boxer is pointing to. Smiles turn into laughs. Smiles evaporates as soon as Boxer is strapped into car seat. She hates to be rear facing. Mom sings silly songs to make her laugh. Boxer pulls her shoes off. Mom adjusts baby mirror so Boxer can admire herself. Off to Starbucks they go. Mom puts on radio. Boxer dances in car seat. Mom sings off-key. Shoes are thrown to the side. Parking is found, Mom limps out, puts shoes back on Boxer, picks her up, limps inside, gets on line. Starbucks crew say hello and ooh and ahh over Boxer's outfit and eyes. Boxer eats up the attention. Mom is nice to people on line. People on line ignore her. Mom curses people in her head. Drink is made. Croissant is purchased if available. This will come in handy for the next event: The Lunch war. On a nice day, Boxer and Mom sit outside and watch the cars zoom by. Boxer smiles and points at everything and everyone. Mom tries to get Boxer to talk. Boxer is Happy. On chilly or windy days, Mom walks back to car. Boxer wants to drink coffee. More people comment on her eyes. Boxer steals straw from iced coffee. Mom always has an extra in her hand. Boxer is put back in car seat. Grunting starts. Shoes are taken off. Mirror is adjusted. Music is put on. Dancing commences. Singing commences. Cats howl on the street. They return home

11:45AM - 12:10PM: The diaper change and nap war. Diaper change is a tough one. Morning nap is normally an easy battle. Boxer is tired from all the therapy and Starbucks action. The Boxer takes a nap. Mom hobbles in pain to clean up mess from hurricane Boxer. Bottle is washed, pots & pans returned to cabinet, toys put back in bins. Mom sits for 5 minutes. Takes 2 sips of coffee. Hears a cry from upstairs. Checks video monitor. Boxer is cruising her crib whilst hurling all of her toys out of it. Mom scurries to kitchen to wolf down something to eat. Leg braces are adjusted. Mom wishes Boxer would nap a bit longer. Mom grimaces in pain as she walks back up the steps on her pain-riddled legs.

12:10PM - 12:45PM: The Lunch war begins. Boxer screams in high chair. Mom gives her toys to play with. She dodges flying toys as she prepares lunch. Mom turns on IPOD. Boxer dances a bit. Mom's singing continues to torture neighborhood cats, and her own cat, who is now meowing for food. Mom offers sippy cup to Boxer. She chews on it, bangs it around, then tosses it on floor. Mom tries to feed Boxer yogurt. Boxer loves the first 3 spoonfuls; then hits mom's hand out of the way. Mom offers some mashed sweet potatoes with Butter. Boxer eats this with no problem. Sippy cup is rinsed off & returned to Boxer. She bites on it, takes a sip, makes a face, and hits meowing cat with it. Mom tries to give yogurt again. Yogurt shunned. Mom eats yogurt. Offers some bread. Boxer chews on it while Mom cleans up mess. Sippy cup slinging continues. Whining starts again. "The Gorn" returns for an afternoon appearance. Mom dances in pain for Boxer. Smiles erupt. Laughter erupts. Boxer happy. Mom is happy. Lunch war is easy. Battle over. Boxer is cleaned and released from high chair. Mom reaches for more Motrin.

12:45 PM - 3:00PM: Boxer re-destroys entire living room and kitchen again. Many cat-litter attempts are made and thwarted. Boxer unable to dump cat food & water around, as it is now on the kitchen table. This reminds Mom as to why cat is in a meowing frenzy. Mom gives the cat some grub, then sits on floor with Boxer. Books are read, Games are played, smiles and laughter fill the room. Mom hides pain from Boxer as the Boxer loves to climb all over mom. Braces are off again due to Boxer's obsession with velcro. Mom gives Boxer some vitamins and a small bottle of milk, as sippy cup is still shunned. Boxer drinks some, spills most, and cat has a drink or 2. Sippy cup returned to table, eager to be loved by The Boxer. Sippy fights a losing battle. Walking is attempted. Crawling is once again at warped speed. Mom encourages talking, but only received grunts, whines, and "The Gorn". Boxer becomes restless. Climbs up stairs with mom behind her. Mom screams in head from pain coursing through knees. Boxer reaches top of stairs, crawls into room, grabs Pooh Bear. Repeat 3x. When the weather is nice, mom straps braces back on legs, and takes Boxer out. Sometimes they go to the park, Sometimes they walk around the complex, sometimes they sit outside and look at the birds, sometimes they go down to the beach. Boxer enjoys. Mom enjoys and smiles through the pain. More Motrin is popped. On bad weather days, morning activities are usually repeated, and house can be declared a disaster area. Somewhere in the middle of all the chaos, mom cleans up termite wings and kills many ants. Boxer eats a stray piece of cat food. Cat is pissed. Swatting commences. Tantrums ensue. Mom is ready for a break

3:00PM - 3:30PM: The diaper change and afternoon nap war begins. Mom puts Boxer in crib. Scoots down steps as quickly as possible. Boxer is not happy. Screaming starts. Cries erupt. Wailing begins. Toys and blankets thrown from crib. Cruising and crying not a good mix for the Boxer, and she falls and hits head many times. Mom goes up and down stairs to make sure Boxer is ok. She wants to stay upstairs until sleep takes over the Boxer, but cannot, because Boxer will know she is there, and will cry even harder. Finally the Boxer lays down. Thumb-sucking commences. Mom watches Boxer on video monitor. Boxer stares at ceiling. Eyelids get heavy. The Boxer loses the war and drifts off to sleep

3:30PM - 4:00PM: Mom curses leg brace. Mom curses leg pain. Mom takes more Motrin. Cleans up the house. Cleans the bathroom. Washes dishes. Does some laundry. Etc Etc. Depends on the day. Mom sits for about 5 minutes. Drinks some water. Pets the cat. LOUD cries emerge from the video monitor. The Boxer is awake.

4:00PM - 5:30PM: Mom puts Boxer in her walker. Gives her some puffs. Boxer gobbles it up. Mom preps sippy cup with milk. Sippy cup is still mending it's wounded heart from earlier. Sippy cups heart is once again broken, as Boxer shuns the cup. Mom gives Boxer a bottle. She drinks some, spills most. Cat is having another milk treat. Mom turns on the TV. Boxer loves "Bewitched". Mom takes this opportunity to start prepping dinner. Leg braces are strapped back on. More Motrin is popped. Mom gets some shit started in kitchen. Boxer is amused by TV for about 15 minutes. Mom does as much as she can before crying commences. Boxer released from walker and put in play-area. Boxer actually plays with toys for about 10 minutes. Mom continues to cook dinner whilst in enormous pain. Knee is very swollen. 10 minutes is up. Crying ensues. Mom releases Boxer. Living room and kitchen once again destroyed. Cat litter is coveted; stair-climbing is coveted; mom stares at clock, waiting for SB to get home. Mom encourages Boxer to walk and talk. Walking is going good, but not the talking. Grunts are made. Smiles are had. Mom kisses and hugs Boxer. Boxer protests. Mom begs for hugs and kisses. Boxer gives her a ball instead. Playing continues. Braces pulled off again. Dinner is burning. Leg is burning. Boxer takes a dump. More diaper changing war.....

6:00PM. SB comes home. Boxer grunts in approval. Mom is happy to have some help. SB carries Boxer around the house while mom salvages dinner. SB gives Boxer back to mom. He takes a crap.

6:30PM -7:00PM The Dinner war begins. Mom serves SB dinner. Shovels some out for herself. Winces in constant pain. Knee now swelled to the size of a watermelon. Mom pushes through pain. Mom convinces SB to fight the dinner war with Boxer. SB usually loses. Floor completely covered in food/juice/puffs/cat food.

7:00PM - 7:30PM: SB sits in play-area with Boxer and cleans toys as he entertains her for a bit. Mom pops more Motrin. She cleans up kitchen. Washes dishes, cleans floor, cleans stove, cleans countertops, cleans high-chair. Well shit, mom just cleans everything up. Knee now the size of Mt. Everest. Pain is immense. Mom wants to croak.

7:30PM: The bath war begins. Boxer used to love baths. Until she learned how to stand. Since bath tub in "new" home is falling apart, Boxer is still given baths in her baby tub on the dilapidated kitchen table. Attempts have been made at bathing her in the sink. Attempts failed. Bath begins. Water is splashed on peeling, chipped, cheap-ass table. Soap is flung. Soap bottle is beaten. Shampoo is flung. Shampoo bottle is beaten. Rubber ducky is chewed to death. SB & mom are drenched. Table is falling apart. Boxer drinks bath water.

7:45PM: The diaper and grooming war begins. SB carries Boxer up the stairs to her room. Mom limps behind. SB fights the diaper battle. He wins. SB brushes Boxer's teeth while Mom gets PJ's ready. SB leaves. Mom gives Boxer toys to play with. Grunting and pointing at toys commences. "The Gorn" is back. Mom gives Boxer a massage. She puts lotion on Boxer. Boxer happy. She smiles at mom. Mom smiles at Boxer. Until mom tries to put lotion on Boxer's back. Boxer not happy. She has a sensory problem with this. Mom is gentle. Boxer calms down. Mom asks Boxer to find "Snoopy" Boxer sits up and points. Mom gets "Snoopy" book and reads it to Boxer. Attempts to comb Boxer's hair and clean her ears as Boxer eats the book. Boxer starts to climb wall. Pulls pictures off the wall. Mom puts Boxer in crib. Everything is thrown out of crib for the last time of the day. Mom cleans toys up. Mom gets humidifier ready. Mom takes Boxer out of crib and puts PJ's on. Boxer fights it, but her fight is weak, as the hour is late. PJ's are on. Boxer put in clean sleep sack. Mom says goodnight to all of Boxer's babies/dolls. She kisses them. She has them kiss Boxer. Boxer kisses back. Mom smiles. Boxer smiles. Mom kisses Boxer. Boxer head-butts mom. Mom knows this is a kiss. Mom turns on projector for Boxer. Says goodnight and leaves room.

8:30PM: Mom ducks into shower as quickly as her broken legs can take her. She can hear Boxer crying again. She's confident SB will give her the last bottle of the day. Mom sighs in shower.

9:30PM: Boxer has been fed, but is still fighting sleep. Eventually, thumb-sucking commences, and the Boxer drifts off into happy dreams of sugarplums and cat litter.

Up until midnight, Mom cleans the rest of the house, gets things ready for the morning, soothes Boxer as she wakes up a bunch of times, says 2 words to SB, possibly watches a bit of TV with him, then heads to the bedroom. Noise from creaking, breaking stairs usually wakes Boxer again. Mom soothes Boxer. Mom's leg is beyond recognition at this point. Pain is indescribable. Mom limps to bedroom. Checks video monitor. Boxer is drifting. Mom pops more Motrin. Flips on the TV. Puts on "That 70's show". Falls asleep around 1:30AM or 2:00AM. Is woken a few times in the night by Boxer crying.

6:30AM: Rise and shine!!!!

For those of who that made it this far into the blog entry, my hat is off to you!!! For those of you who think I'm bitching about Boxer, you are wrong. Actually, I am giving Boxer A LOT of credit. For she is a spit-fire. And she has spunk. And as you all recall, she was given "less than 1% chance" of even being born. Ha. If this is how "less than 1%" turns out to be at one year old, then so be it! That's my Boxer girl! She rocks! And by rocking out like she does, she is STILL giving the middle finger to all of those so-called doctors who doubted her. I LOVE my baby girl!!

Now, if only someone would help my ass out so I can get my leg fixed......things would be so much better, and I wouldn't crave an IV drip of hard-core moonshine to be hooked up to my veins...

Yay for Boxer Girls!!

At the park during a typical day with mom!



Til next time.